Watch the Donut, Not the Hole

"When you walk the streets you'll have no cares
If you walk the lines and not the squares
As you go through life make this your goal
Watch the donut, not the hole." B. Merrill

My littlest daughter has started listening to a great Burl Ives CD of childrens songs. She especially likes the Little White Duck. I am partial to the Donut Song. What I like about it is that it reminds me to stay present...something we men work on in the ManKind Project. Staying present allows me to be with my daughter while she is rockin' out to Little White Duck when I could be thinking about the other three thousand things I need to think about.

So to B. Merrill and Burl Ives, thank you for helping me be present in my busy world.

I'm out.
Bravehearted Old-faithful Wolf


Tough Mudder & the NWTA

I recently completed the 12 mile, 24 obstacle, Tough Mudder at Patterson, CA.

On October 10th I celebrated 13 years since my New Warrior Training Adventure.

They were both significant for me in that each was a leap of faith.

The NWTA was a leap of faith because I was stepping into a place where I had to trust myself and other men. At the time when that was a huge stretch for me.

Tough Mudder was a leap into a mental and physical place I had never pushed myself to. I stepped into the commitment of doing something completely outside my comfort zone. I trained for nine months.

Today I am stronger than I had ever been; I run far farther, lift more weight, push harder; all of this on the heels of double-bypass, open-heart surgery two years ago. I could run two miles when I started out, but the weekend before the Mudder, I ran eight. I could barely do 20 sit-ups, now I can do 1000. Every day, I looked at myself differently as I gained strength, power, endurance, and self-love; yes, self-love. I found the more I gained the more joy and love I felt for what I, and my body, was capable of achieving.

For me, MKP, the NWTA, and Tough Mudder are tied together as one. Without doing my work in MKP and the NWTA, I know I would not be the man I am today: strong of heart, body, and soul. I developed, and am still developing, into the man I knew was in there but had no idea how to get to.

Would I do Tough Mudder again? You bet! I am already training for next September's event near Tahoe, CA. Maybe I will see you out there!

I'm out.
Bravehearted Old-faithful Wolf


Letting Go of the Outcome


I got to thinking this morning...thinking about ripples.

I have touched many men with my ripples. I, too, get very motivated by my ripples and share that with many men.

What I wanted to share from these thoughts is the idea of letting go of the outcome. When I talk to a man about ManKind Project or write in my blog about MKP, I do not put any value on whether he will or won't do anything with it. That way I can be honest and come from my feelings and heart. When I used to come from a place of valuing the outcome (gee I really hope he gets this...or I hope he doesn't freak out over the term new warrior), I would not be clear and honest and I would check what I said to try to get the outcome I wanted. I believe every man who I talked with in this way could feel the energy of me needing an outcome and that may have tainted the experience for him.

Right now, I have a friend who is attending my IGroup. I asked him to come and sit out of love for him and his place in the world. I have not mentioned the training except in passing. I am being there for him in a way he needs now. He needs a circle of men to support him in his life right now. Will he attend the training...I do not care nor know.

To me, this used to be very conscious stuff. I had to think about how I could let go of the outcome. But now, with practice, I have come to a place where I speak to men and women about MKP with heart and not with any expectation.

So, just like anything else...I leave you with that and you may do with it as you please. I hope it will help you see that you have the power to be a man who invites men out of love and not out of "what can I get or what if..."

One last thought...the ripples...are you the man who invites the man who invites President Obama? Are you the man who invites the man who says no? Are you that man that invites the man who attends and leaves out of fear? Are you the man who invites the man who later embraces you with love and joy for your stretching out to him?

All I am saying is this...invite a man from your heart and let go.

I'm out.
Bravehearted Old-faithful Wolf