12.21.2010

Father to the Man

"The child is the father to the man."

A sentiment that rings clear for me.

My experience as a child drives and compels my present and, if I am unconscious, my future.

In the ManKind Project, I hold space to look at how my past brings my present into focus and out of focus. The men in my iGroup help me with this, but ultimately I could just sit in iGroup and do nothing; although my mere presence in iGroup would be something.

I am asking you to take a look at how your past creeps into your present. Is it time to take a hold of the present while honoring the past? Do it now; sign up for the New Warrior Training Adventure and come to an iGroup. Maybe, I will see you there.

I'm out.
Bravehearted Old-faithful Wolf

12.13.2010

A Significant Event

This post illustrates the difference between a boy-mind and man-mind.

The trouble is many men are not dwelling in a man-mind; they are still living the boy-mind.

The ManKind Project takes men who have not had this opportunity and brings them into man space using the New Warrior Training Adventure.

I feel hopeful that there are many of these boy-to-man type initiations. Maybe one day the ManKind Project will no longer need to initiate boy-men into men.

Wouldn't that be wonderful.

I'm out.
Bravehearted Old-faithful Wolf



From Pathways Foundation; a group in Australia initiating boys to men.

Difference between Boy and Man Psychology

Boy Psychology
  • I seek acknowledgment
  • I want it all for me
  • Power is for my benefit
  • I am the centre of the universe
  • I believe I am immortal
  • I take no responsibility for my actions
  • I want a mother

Healthy Man Psychology
  • I seek that which I believe in
  • I share with my community
  • Power is for the good of all
  • I am just part of the universe
  • I know I am mortal
  • I take full responsibility for my actions
  • I want relationship with a woman

The shift from boy to man psychology is not one that occurs naturally. The difference in the two are so fundamental that a significant event is required for this to happen. It is the role of the elders within the community to create such an event or there is a risk that boy psychology will persist into adulthood.

12.12.2010

2011

Is 2011 the year you step into yourself? The year you take the New Warrior Training Adventure and spend time becoming the man you wanted be; should be; need to be?

The New Warrior Training Adventure is about change and reflection. Can you reflect on your life with honesty and courage and make some solid changes to be that man you want to be?

Do it this year.

I'm out.
Bravehearted Old-faithful Wolf

12.07.2010

Showering the People I Love With Love

My Warrior brothers, Bear, Mark, and Silas Dyken, along with Somer Moon, create the band Clan Dyken. Give them a listen!



This song is for all the ones I love...feel my love shower on you all!
  • Deardra; my greatest, deepest love and best friend...I am forever yours!
  • Shannon, Emma, and Sarah; my sweet and kind girls.
  • Mom and Dad, Poppy and Diane, Uncle Dick, Dee and Jerry, Little Crow, Gee Gee, Marge; my elders.
  • Scott; my brother, so kind and misunderstood.
  • My MKP Four Stone Circle IGroup brothers; "Once you tell somebody the way that you feel, you can feel it beginning to ease"; Graydon, Matt, Stuart, Alex, Kevin, Art, Rick
  • My MKP Warrior brothers; in loving service...; Arthur B., Bryant B., Snake B., Phillip B., Francis B., Ron C., Paul D.,  Barry F., Harold G., Ken H., Boysen H., David J., Bill K., Jeremiah M., Marcelo M., Marshal M., Sparky M., Bill M., William N., Atler N.,  Joel P., Tom R., Jose R-M., Richard S., Rich T. 
  • All my ballet family; Hanneke and Gary and all the wonderful folks associated with them.
  • All my friends who supported and loved me through the last summer; I love you all; "One thing can lead to another; it doesn't take any sacrifice."
I'm out.
Bravehearted Old-faithful Wolf




Shower the People
James Talyor; 1976 off In the Pocket

You can play the game and you can act out the part
Though you know it wasn't written for you
But tell me, how can you stand there with your broken heart
Ashamed of playing the fool
One thing can lead to another; it doesn't take any sacrifice
Oh, father and mother,and sister and brother
if it feels nice, don't think twice (yes)

Shower the people you love with love
Show them the way that you feel
Things are gonna work out fine if you only will (do as i say, yeah)
Shower the people you love with love
Show them the way that you feel
Things are gonna be much better if you only will

You can run but you cannot hide
This is widely known
And what you plan to do with your foolish pride
When you're all by yourself alone
Once you tell somebody the way that you feel
You can feel it beginning to ease
I think it's true what they say about the squeaky wheel
Always getting the grease.

Better to shower the people you love with love
(Yes and) show them the way that you feel
(I know) Things are gonna be just fine if you only will (what i'd like to do to you)
Shower the people you love with love
Show them the way you feel
Things are gonna be much better if you only will

Shower the people you love with love
Show them the way that you feel

They say in every life
They say the rain must fall
Just like the pouring rain
Make it rain
Make it rain
Love, love, love is sunshine oh
Oh yes, Make it rain
Love, love, love is sunshine yeah
Oh, right, Everybody, everybody, everybody, everybody

11.30.2010

Your NWTA and MKP Experience

Readers: This post provides real men's experiences for you to read. I gain these contributions by asking fellow MKP men to contribute. Depending on how you get here you may need to click on the comments link below to see the contributions.

ManKind Project Men: The intention here is for MKP men to share with this blog's readers their experiences with the ManKind Project and the New Warrior Training Adventure; share the changes, the journey, the insights, whatever moves in you. I would like to see every initiated man post his experience with NWTA. A man can dream, can't he? Since it's easiest to post as anonymous (no Blogger account needed), please sign the end of your post with your animal name, NWTA location, and date. Click on the comments link, below, to leave your piece.

I'm out.
Bravehearted Old-faithful Wolf

11.29.2010

There Was No Path

"The great myths show that when you follow somebody else’s path, you go astray. The hero has to set off by himself, leaving the old world and the old ways behind. He must venture into the darkness of the unknown, where there is no map and no clear route. He must fight his own monsters, not somebody else’s, explore his own labyrinth, and endure his own ordeal before he can find what is missing in his life.

Thus transfigured, he can bring something of value to the world that has been left behind. But if the knight finds himself riding along an already established track, he is simply following in somebody else’s footsteps and will not have an adventure. In the words of the Old French text of The Quest of the Holy Grail, if he wants to succeed, he must enter the forest “at a point that he, himself, had chosen, where it was darkest and there was no path.”

The wasteland in the Grail legend is a place where people live inauthentic lives, blindly following the norms of their society and doing only what other people expect."

From The Spiral Staircase: My Climb Out of Darkness by Karen Armstrong

When you attend the New Warrior Training Adventure, you will find a place to take a journey into your unknown. There is a place in your life when you must take this path into the unknown.

I can't tell you when this will happen. But, I can tell you this. If you don't, you might as well just sign on to be someone else for the rest of your life. Does that sound like the path you want?

If not, then now is the time to sign up and walk the unknown path that is the New Warrior Training Adventure.

I'm out.
Bravehearted Old-faithful Wolf

11.17.2010

I'm Am Sure I Won't Hurt Them

"An oncologist once asked, "Since you're not trained in psychotherapy, how do you know you won't do these patients [patients in Siegel's cancer group, ECaP] harm? I replied, "I love them. I may not help, but I'm sure I won't hurt them."

Bernie Siegel; from Love, Medicine, & Miracles, ISBN: 978-0060919832

In a Mankind Project integration group, we are men of all backgrounds and titles. I suppose there are groups that have a therapist attending, but I am not aware of one.

We are not trained in psychotherapy. We use common group methods to reach into our hearts to do work around making us better, stronger, graceful, fiercely loving men.We concentrate on truth, honesty, integrity, accountability, and the basic emotions of joy, anger, sadness, and fear.We take deep looks into why we are who we are and what we want to do with that knowledge.We support each other in finding the ways that work best for each man.


I don't think we do any harm by loving a man or caring for him and his world.

I'm out.
Bravehearted Old-faithful Wolf

11.10.2010

Camper Parts Can Change Your Life

One man's voice on the New Warrior Training Adventure from The Worlds of carl Michael rossi:

I'm out.
Bravehearted Old-faithful Wolf

"A good part of the reason that I am here in Chicago is due to the New Warrior Training Adventure. I was visiting my family here in Chicago for the Christmas holidays when the camper, in which I had been traveling across the US in search of my next home, broke down. While I waited for the necessary parts I thought I was "stuck" here, and looked for ways to fill the 6 weeks it ended up taking to get the parts.

One of the things that happened as I filled the time, was I met a man. And he saw in me how truly stuck I was, and how my wandering wasn't getting me unstuck. He suggested I call a men's group called New Warriors. One thing I was aware of was how much I wanted a connection with men. No, how much I wanted to learn to be a man.

The short is, I went to "the weekend". And learned enough about myself that I wanted to stay for the 3 months of follow-up meetings with the men I had "gone through with."

That was in February of 1996. Eight years later I'm still here. Still growing. Still learning more about me. It's been the single most unexpected wonderful journey of my life...so far."

11.09.2010

You Are the Cause

"The cause of your problem is sitting right there in your seat. You are the cause of your problem, whatever it might be. At some point you will finally realize, hopefully, that you have put yourself in that position. Whether it is jay-walking, spitting on the sidewalk, having socially unacceptable sex, using drugs, drinking and driving, spending, cheating, lying, stealing, whatever it is, you are at the crux of it. You are the problem, as is the person next to you. If we believe in a God that has given us life and we continue to do things which destroy our energy, our mind, body and spirit, then we are the problem. It isn't God. It isn't Satan. It isn't the government. It isn't anybody else. It's us."

Little Crow, 1933-2004; from The Sacred Hill Within, ISBN: 0-9635440-5-5

What more is there to say? Can you get behind taking responsibility for where you are right now?

I'm out.
Bravehearted Old-faithful Wolf

11.07.2010

From Defeated to Renewed

I wanted to share this great piece from Tim Riggs who recently completed the NWTA.

I'm out.
Bravehearted Old-faithful Wolf

From Defeated to Renewed

By Tim “Laughing Raven” Riggs

Tim Riggs DEFEATED…That’s what I was when I arrived at the September New Warrior Training at Camp WaRiKi. I felt defeated for many reasons. I have never had a good male role model in my life. I have always felt belittled and not equal to other men. This has been so bad that I felt worthless and angry most of the time.

Besides feeling defeated I have to say that I was really frightened. What was I afraid of? I was afraid that I was wasting my money attending a camp for men. I was afraid that I was getting in over my head, and would not be able to do what was required. I was afraid of being unable to reach my goals.

A very good friend and counselor, Dan Turano, had been telling me for over a year that this group was just what I was looking for. Even though I completely trusted Dan I had a hard time believing that a group of men whom I had never met would, or could, show support and care about me.

I have to say that the weekend was transformative. I am NOT the same person who arrived defeated and afraid. The men working at the camp demonstrated to me that they really did care about me. I felt that they heard what I had to say. I felt that they wanted me to become the man I really wanted to be. I finally felt accepted by a group of men. I was surprised that they wanted me, not because I could do something for them, not because I had something they wanted, but because they gave a damn about the man behind the pain and fear.

All of my problems are not gone. I cannot say that because of this camp that life is perfect now, however, these men gave me something no one has ever cared to. They gave me hope, and because of that hope I am now a New Warrior. I left the camp feeling a renewed sense of self. An internal peace seems to have replaced the fear, and acceptance has replaced the anger.

I cannot believe the quality of the men who worked at the camp. These men left me feeling humbled and in awe. I was humbled that they came to serve and care for me. I was in awe that they accepted me for who and what I am. Honestly, as I type this I am still amazed at the quality of the men at the camp. I am honored to be a part of these men. They are, and have, inspired me to become the man I want to be. That man is a reflection of each of them.

If you ever wonder why you do this camp I’ll tell you: you do it for men like me, who are lost. You do it for men like me, who are in pain. You do it for men like me, who are afraid.

So thank you, Dan Turano, for directing me to MKP. Indeed, thank you to every man who worked at this camp, and thank you to all of the New Warriors who went through this camp with me. I appreciate the support, the caring attitude and acceptance shown to me! Most of all Thank you for the hope! Because of this camp, and because of all of your hard work I am…RENEWED!

11.05.2010

Movember

In the ManKind Project, I press my self to be of service to the world in whatever way I can.

Today, "being of service" is to pass on a really fun and powerful service project called "Movember." It goes like this:

"Each Movember we challenge men to change their appearance and the face of men's health by growing a moustache. The moustache is our ribbon, the means by which we raise awareness and funds for cancers that affect men. Much like the commitment to run or walk for charity, our commitment is to grow a moustache for 30 days. Funds raised benefit the Prostate Cancer Foundation and LIVESTRONG.

I ask you to step up to support men supporting other men in a good way by visiting the website and growing a moustache!

I would join you, but I already have a beard and mustache (that are dyed black for the Giants!).

I'm out.
Bravehearted Old-faithful Wolf

11.03.2010

Stark Light of Love

The piece below speaks to the way men work in an MKP Intergration Group (the weekly group after the NWTA).

It is honest, forthright, unyielding in it's love and support. We hold each other up to the light of loving scrutiny to see what does and doesn't work in our lives.

What would it take for you to really look at what works for you and what doesn't?

I'm out.
Bravehearted Old-faithful Wolf

"The Way of the Superior Man"
By David Deida

"About once a week, you should sit down with your closest men friends and discuss what you are doing in your life and what you are afraid of doing. The conversation should be short and simple. You should state where you are at. Then, your friends should give you a behavioral experiment, something you can do that will reveal something to you, or grant more freedom in your life."

Your close friends should be willing to challenge your mediocrity by suggesting a concrete action you can perform that will pop you out of your rut, one way or the other. And you must be willing to offer them your brutal honesty, in the same way, if you are all to grow. If you are at your edge, your men friends should respect that, but not let you off the hook. They should honor your fears, and, in love, continue to goad you beyond them, without pushing you.

If you merely want support from your friends without challenge, it bespeaks an unresolved issue you may have with your father, whether he is alive or dead. The father force is the force of loving challenge and guidance. Without this masculine force in your life, your direction becomes unchecked, and you are liable to meander in the mush of your own ambiguity and indecision. Your closest friends can provide the stark light of love - uncompromised by a fearful Mr. Nice act - by which you can see the direction you really want to go.

Choose men friends who themselves are living at their edge, facing their fears and living just beyond them. Men of this kind can love you without protecting you from the necessary confrontation with reality that your life involves. You should be able to trust that these friends will tell you about your life as they see it, offer you a specific action which will shed light on your own position, and give you the support necessary to live in the freedom just beyond your edge, which is not always, or even usually, comfortable."

10.28.2010

Was It Fun?

This post comes from a fellow warrior, Edward Manning, who talks about his staffing of a New Warrior Training Adventure.

I offer it to you as a reference to what can be found at an NWTA.

I'm out.
Bravehearted Old-faithful Wolf

Was It Fun?

I just staffed another New Warrior Training Adventure last weekend. Monday, one of my friends asked me, “Was it fun? Did you have a good time?” I think I grinned a loopy smile at him and offered a few token lines in response. Honestly, I wasn’t sure how to encapsulate an answer. What I really wanted to tell him was this:

  • I met a bunch of new guys this past weekend. Some older, some younger. Some looked like me, some looked very different. Some straight, some gay. And within the roughly 48 hours of time we spent together, I got to know their hearts, their inner core so well - and they me - that I actually cried upon parting. I actually *miss* men that I didn’t even know a week ago today.
  • I had a fierce confrontation with one of the weekend leaders. We really grilled each other pretty hard - we were both intense in our communication. I was angry and (in my opinion) he was too. And it was also respectful. We both managed to listen. He didn’t try to pull any “I’m the fucking leader” bullshit on me. He held himself accountable to his words and actions.

    We both had softening moments because there was trust that we weren’t trying to dick each other over or prove ourselves right. The confrontation evolved from fierce to empathetic, to compassionate, to invested in supporting each other. Isn’t that the goal of confrontation? To get to that place?

  • An attendee (i.e. not-on-staff man) approached me on Sunday and told me that an activity I co-facilitated on Saturday morning would now change the way he interacted with his kids. He could barely speak to me he was so choked up with emotion. He kept saying things like, “I had no idea…I had no idea.” We walked together for a few moments, reveling in each other.

  • A room full of staff men shared grief and sparkling anger about racial disharmony. And not the fucked-up state of the world ‘out there,’ but rather the disharmony within our own staff, our own inability to stand in the fire of differences. It was angry. Fierce. It was also immensely sad, and there were tears of pent-up grief and frustration. We didn’t generate the solution that brings about world peace.

    We did, however, get through the experience, stronger and more unified than before. We got through it with a few mens’ special grace leading the rest of us. We got through it with fear, anger, love, and sadness. We got through it with men willing to speak their hard and heartfelt truths and not backing down. And men loving each other beyond what is reasonable to expect.

    I left with much to ponder about my contributions to racial disharmony. What do I need to look at?

  • There was also exhilerated, howling laughter. I cried from laughing so hard. Most of the jokes wouldn’t translate well in writing just because it’s a ‘had-to-be-there’ thing, but the thing that I loved about this kind of laughter is that the humor was not bitterly sarcastic, it didn’t shame anyone, it didn’t include mean observations about any individuals. Nope. It was goofy, playful, honoring. Teasing. Mildly self-deprecating without descending into viciousness.

  • One afternoon, a leader I respect a great deal came up to me and, out of the blue, said, “Have I ever told you that I love you? Have I? I need to tell you that. I love you. I really love you.” He walked away, and I was dazed.

  • I walked through fear. Actually, it’s probably more accurate to say, “I walked with fear.”

    The phrase ‘walking through fear’ suggests John Wayne fortitude or some sort of Braveheart massacre of fear. Nope. I had heart-pounding reservations about doing a specific task and by my volunteering to step up, forced myself to look at that fear, walk with it, discover where it emanated from, and what I would have to do to get over it.

    I did not get through this fear alone. One man sacrificed his free time to listen to me and reflect back parts of my shadow. Some of those men I had just met looked me squarely in the eyes, saying, “I believe you can do this. I’ll follow you.” And wisdom from men with far more experienced than I was applied lovingly, gently. I was mentored through this fear with the softness and fierceness of true mentoring, not impossible expectations and being set up to fail.
Was the weekend fun?

Nah.

It was so much better than fun.

It was joy and sadness and goofy pranks and firey conflict and feeling fear and hardness melting, and did I mention heart-so-wide-open-that-doesn’t-the-sky-seem-bluer-today? flavor of joy.

It was about being so very, very alive.

10.18.2010

Between Love and Fear

"The choice between love and fear is the eternal choice, the never-ending demand, the longest running show on Broadway. We make that decision with each intention that we make our own, and with it bring into our experience wonderful-feeling constructive consequences (love) or painful destructive consequences (fear)."

Gary Zukav


When a man steps into attending the New Warrior Training Adventure, he steps into a place he may have never been before. For sure, there will be challenges. I can tell you that those challenges are as individual as snowflakes. Each man walks the line of fear differently than another.

What Gary talks about above is choice. You, as a man, can choose to live in fear or love. You are the only one who makes that choice. It is completely in your hands.  Does that sound foreign to you?

I hear excuses to live in fear from other men all the time.....you should hear what goes on in my head sometimes. But it is up to each man, me included, to live in love and not in fear.

So take a moment and look at where you are not showing up because of fear. Where do you not show up because you have chosen fear over love? Where do you become complicit with fear? Where can you choose love?

I'm out.
Old-faithful Wolf

10.09.2010

What’s All the Secrecy About?

Updated 10.09.2010

Why don’t I tell men about what transpires during an NWTA weekend?

It’s pretty simple, really. There are two parts to this:

One part is that this is an initiation weekend. That in itself pretty much speaks for itself. If I told you what was going to transpire, your experience would be polluted. I, for one, do not want that to happen for you.

We have an uninitiated man in sitting our iGroup circle-of-men right now who is attending an NWTA in November. He has been in the circle for a couple months. I take this very serious and guard his experience with great care. I do not want to give away anything to corrupt this men’s time at the NWTA. I think we are all very diligent in our iGroup to keep the weekend processes and experiences out of our iGroup. It can be challenging. In the past, we have had to ask an uninitiated man to step out of the circle (out of the building, in fact) so that an initiated man could talk openly about a process that occurred during his NWTA. Both men’s needs were taken into account. Both men got what they needed.

The second part is that, during an NWTA, I feel there are processes, that without context, are not understandable completely. The processes have special meaning and standing and I do not want to randomly give that out. Again, it goes back to creating a space for men to come into that is unique and unpolluted for every man.

The NWTA is about the uninitiated man. Each man does his NWTA differently than any other man. If you knew what was going to happen, that would take some of uniqueness away.

When I attended my NWTA, I had no idea what was to transpire. Looking back, I see that there was no other way for me to get my unique experience.

The official MKP standpoint is here.

So what stands between you and your NWTA?

I'm out.
Old-faithful Wolf

10.02.2010

Livestrong Day

OCT 2, 2010

In memory of my Victor "Poppy" Larson and Richard "Uncle Dick" Larson.

In honor of those who fought with them both to the every end.

In loving support of those who are fighting cancer and those who have chosen not to fight.

LIVESTRONG!

I'm out.
Bravehearted Old-faithful Wolf

9.24.2010

For My Poppy



Men have been tough and strong men for ages. Nothing new there. Rarely do men touch so many with so much as my Poppy did.

Victor Larson, my Poppy, led a life of hard work and with the toughest of determination. He was the toughest man I ever knew. He was tough mentally. He was tough in his beliefs. He was a man, deep and true. He had a love for tennis, deep and complicated finance, family, and his spiritual faith.

He was not perfect. He had flaws, mistakes, and pasts that haunted him. He made amends where he could and where he couldn't, well, that was his business, not mine.

He was taken from us this morning at 4.55 a.m. Brain cancer overcame him after 18 months of busting his ass to fight it. He never gave up. EVER. He fought with all he had and with great valor, courage, and grace.

So, I dedicate the video above to him; for he was a brave man to the end.

Victor Larson
Victor Larson
Victor Larson

Aho!

I'm out.
Bravehearted Old-faithful Wolf

9.17.2010

Wonderful Pockmarks

"We all leave childhood with wounds. In time, we may transform our liabilities into gifts. The faults that pockmark the psyche may become the source of a man's beauty. The injuries we have suffered invite us to assume the most human of all vocations - to heal ourselves and others."

Sam Keen


The "pockmarks" that are the "source of our beauty" is what makes us men.

Men have their own special needs in this society.

One of those needs is that of men in the tribe or community or family taking interest in us as a young man and guiding us to manhood. That has sadly gone missing in the industrial age we live in now.

The older men are working all day or gone from the house. The community is scattered and we may hardly, or not at all, know our neighbors. The activities we partake in as young men may only be populated with our peers who know as little as we do about how to be a man. We cannot learn to be men from other boys/young men or from girls/young women.

Can you remember a time when a man took an interest in you and your life? When a man guided you with honor and compassion and wisdom.

When you attend the New Warrior Training Adventure, you will be surrounded with men who are interested, not invested, in your journey. You will see what it looks like to have men of community who want you to have the world you want. You will see what it looks like to have other men stand with you to give a place for you to get what you need.

I'm out.
Bravehearted Old-faithful Wolf

9.15.2010

Not Without Your Permisson

"To fear rejection is to believe insufficiently in the self. For a self that is whole seeks to share its gifts with others, while a self that is doubting must receive these gifts from the world."

Julie Redstone, from Meditations on Love, Relationships, and Letting Go; #88.

Fearing rejection...man, they teach that in schools all over the world. Get this grade or wear this or walk like this or talk like that or drive this or be angry or be whatever to fit in and stay away from being rejected.

Rejection can come in many forms and in many venues, but the bottom line is rejection comes from within. One allows it in and allows it to be a part of life. If you see the world as a place that is rejecting you, then you need to take a look at how you see the world. No one can reject you without your permission.

Can the NWTA change that thinking, or any other thinking, for you? Not likely. The NWTA is a place, an event if you will, to start talking a look at how you show up in the world. It is an opportunity to spend 48 hours looking at what works for you and what doesn't in the presence of men who have also done this work.

I'm just sayin'...

I'm out.
Old-faithful Wolf