This post is from an e-mail sent via a Northern California ManKind Project mailing list from Robert Logan. Robert shares his experience being a first-time (rookie) staff member on the Northern California April 2009 New Warrior Training Adventure.
It spoke to me and reminded me of my rookie staffing. I was drawn to speechlessness watching men get to the deepest parts of themselves; honored to be present for such monumental changes; reverent to the space created by the staff for these men.
My rookie staffing was a giant step toward being of service to other men. It meant getting out of my own way to be present and clear about what was going on around me.
I hope one day Robert or I see you in this space.
Thank you, Robert; for your writing and for staffing for a man in my iGroup who went through the Northern California April 2009 New Warrior Training Adventure.
My Rookie Weekend
By Robert Logan
I went to give. I went to receive.
I went to rediscover.
I went to learn.
I went to connect.
I gave strength and received satisfaction.
I gave sweat and received purification.
I gave sage and received the Container.
I gave my body a stretch and received a crystal.
I gave time and received clarity.
I gave my shadow and received my mask.
I gave black granite and received the eyes of three scared men.
I gave stillness and received accountability.
I gave two paths and received contradiction.
I gave water and chains and received my Wild Man.
I gave my imagination and received my new name.
I gave instructions at midnight and received a rebuke.
I gave a place to rest and received compassion.
I gave effort and received warmth.
I gave music and received a dance.
I gave attention and received sadness, anger, happiness, fear and shame.
I gave a statement and received me, myself and I.
I gave in and received my mission.
I gave watchfulness and received nourishment.
I gave a Journey and received intense joy.
I gave protection and received trust.
I gave abandonment and received brothers.
I gave a place to rest and received satisfaction.
I gave to a circle and received my old name back.
I gave food and received gratitude.
I gave music and received the Gift.
I gave service and received a man.
I gave my eyes and received tears.
I gave longing and gratitude and received love.
I gave a look back and received peace.
I connected with the souls of beautiful men.
I learned to be present with all my feelings.
I rediscovered my mission.
I gave from the heart and I received wisdom.
I could have resisted. But that wasn’t why I went.
- Howling Wolf That Dances By The Sea