He Saw His Days Burn Up

"He wanted love
With no involvement
So he chased the wind
That's all his silly life required
And the days of vanity
Went on forever
And he saw his days burn up
Like paper in fire"

John Mellencamp; from Paper in Fire off The Lonesome Jubilee (1987)


In this blog I ask you "are you the man you thought you would become."

What does that mean to me? Well, it means that there must have been a time when you had dreams of being someone or something. Maybe a great father, an renowned explorer, a preacher, a tycoon, maybe the president. Nobody dreams of being a homeless man or a drug addict or an alcoholic. Did you dream big dreams?

I did...and I let many of them go...like paper in fire.

I had to let go of being a Formula 1 driver. That was a tough one.

I had to let go of being the brother to my brother that I wanted to be. I couldn't do that dance alone.

I watched many dreams be just that, dreams. I didn't know where to go to nurture them.

Am I the man I thought I would become? Yes and no. I am more in many ways. I am more of a father and friend than I ever thought or imagined. I am a mentor to many and that never crossed my mind.

In my ManKind Project work, I stretch past my perceived limitations to find new dreams. I went back a couple years ago and tried karting to see if there was anything there for me. I tried to patch the wounds of my brother.

It's a journey...that's all. I invite you to take it with me. I wonder what kind of man you thought you would become.

I'm out.
Old-faithful Wolf



"What is at risk for you to give the people you know in your life sincere empowering feedback (being assertive) rather than remaining silent (being passive) or tearing them down (being aggressive)."

Steve Solomon, Passionate Cheetah; Warrior in the ManKind Project


What's at risk for you to be real with someone you know? That's the question.

Is it the fear of looking dumb; the fear of being vulnerable or being rejected?
Is it the fear of getting closer; building a more meaningful relationship?
Is it that you don't want to be honest or you are afraid of honesty?
Is it that you don't want to hurt feelings or you are afraid to hurt feelings?
Is it that honesty has hurt you in the past?

What would it look like to really step into being a man who speaks to another person with clarity and honesty at the risk of all of the above?

For me it would look scary and risky. So what. Fear and risk are in the mind, not in the action.

My honesty to you is that you can't be honest with another until you can get some honesty with yourself. Find some honesty at the New Warrior Training Adventure.

See you there...living in my honesty.

I'm out.
Old-faithful Wolf


Meet the ManKind Project Men

Every year, at the University of California, Davis, the campus has a wonderful event called the Whole Earth Festival. This year is the 39th year UC Davis has held the festival.

I support the ManKind Project by getting a booth together so that we can connect with other men and talk to them about the project. I expect about 20 MKP men to be at the booth over the weekend.

If you're in the neighborhood, stop by booth 465 to meet some of the men of the ManKind Project.

The festival is free and maybe you'll get to meet me, Old-faithful Wolf. I'd get a kick out of hearing about you reading my blog! Ask for me, I am around most the weekend.

I'm out.
Old-faithful Wolf