Stark Light of Love

The piece below speaks to the way men work in an MKP Intergration Group (the weekly group after the NWTA).

It is honest, forthright, unyielding in it's love and support. We hold each other up to the light of loving scrutiny to see what does and doesn't work in our lives.

What would it take for you to really look at what works for you and what doesn't?

I'm out.
Bravehearted Old-faithful Wolf

"The Way of the Superior Man"
By David Deida

"About once a week, you should sit down with your closest men friends and discuss what you are doing in your life and what you are afraid of doing. The conversation should be short and simple. You should state where you are at. Then, your friends should give you a behavioral experiment, something you can do that will reveal something to you, or grant more freedom in your life."

Your close friends should be willing to challenge your mediocrity by suggesting a concrete action you can perform that will pop you out of your rut, one way or the other. And you must be willing to offer them your brutal honesty, in the same way, if you are all to grow. If you are at your edge, your men friends should respect that, but not let you off the hook. They should honor your fears, and, in love, continue to goad you beyond them, without pushing you.

If you merely want support from your friends without challenge, it bespeaks an unresolved issue you may have with your father, whether he is alive or dead. The father force is the force of loving challenge and guidance. Without this masculine force in your life, your direction becomes unchecked, and you are liable to meander in the mush of your own ambiguity and indecision. Your closest friends can provide the stark light of love - uncompromised by a fearful Mr. Nice act - by which you can see the direction you really want to go.

Choose men friends who themselves are living at their edge, facing their fears and living just beyond them. Men of this kind can love you without protecting you from the necessary confrontation with reality that your life involves. You should be able to trust that these friends will tell you about your life as they see it, offer you a specific action which will shed light on your own position, and give you the support necessary to live in the freedom just beyond your edge, which is not always, or even usually, comfortable."

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